


Please

by Seasaltlover



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games), Moana (2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied Soriku, Other, Post-Canon, i haven't really written before so bare with me, will add more as story goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seasaltlover/pseuds/Seasaltlover
Summary: Riku is desperate to find Sora. Kairi has been asleep for a few months, and there doesn't seem to be hope she'll wake up soon. This story will explore Riku becoming increasingly depressed, making bad decisions, and building back up from it. There will eventually be alcohol involved.We're gonna pretend that KHMoM takes place much farther down the line
Relationships: Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Grey

_I’ll find you Sora._ These are the words echoing in Riku’s head as he is on the brink of falling asleep. Sora disappeared almost four months ago. He did what he could to get back Kairi and to make sure everyone was safe. Sometimes that means he will sacrifice his own happiness and wellbeing to make it happen. Sora had too big of a heart and didn’t know how to take care of his own wants and needs.

“Wait, you’re going to sleep for a while?” Riku asked his friend in surprise. Kairi had just told him that she wanted the Radiant Garden researchers to pick through her memories to look for clue to Sora’s whereabouts. The only issue is that they need her to be asleep in order to properly get through the memories. “How long do you think you’ll be gone?” Riku couldn’t stand the thought of another friend leaving.

“It depends on how fast they can find something… it might take a month, or even a year. I leave tomorrow.” She said in a soft voice. The sun reflecting on the water in her face made her eyes sparkle. Riku grew quiet and looked out at the sea, and Kairi took his hand. “Everything will be okay. We’ll find him.” They both took in the sunset warmth. It has been two months so far and the team haven’t found anything that could help.

“I know you’ll do great, Kairi.” He was sad but understood the urgency. Anything that could help find Sora would be needed. “I believe in you.”

Aqua, Terra, and Ven have been gone for longer than Kairi. Riku misses consulting Aqua for advice. She warm and loving. She made sure to show Riku new information, since he was a Keyblade Master after all. The trio set off in their armor into the Realm of Darkness. Sora becoming lost in the darkness was a hard thought for Riku to think. When they got lost together after fighting Xemnas, they were okay. Together, Riku and Sora could push through anything. Alone? Riku already almost lost himself in the darkness once, but thanks to Kairi, Sora, and King Mickey, he made it through. But Sora, he didn’t know how to navigate the darkness. He couldn’t help but to worry but knowing how much of a pillar of light Sora is, he was assured that he’ll be okay. Riku showed his appreciation to Aqua, Terra, and Ven by watching their take off. He wished them luck and off they went.

Riku has been searching for Sora, too. He decided to search any world he could come across. From worlds he knew Sora had been on before, to new worlds no one he knew has seen before. Each world he had been to, everyone would just say the same thing. Either the haven’t seen him or heard of him. With each day, Riku had his hopes diminishing bit by bit. Now, going to worlds was more of a reminder that Sora was gone. He couldn’t let himself think that, but it pops up in his thoughts occasionally.

Sometimes he would get a hope that someone had seen Sora. Riku had traveled to a world that took place inside a video game. Supposedly this place was in an arcade. Of course, Riku immediately took to asking around if anyone had seen his friend, but none had. When asked what game he was from, he remembered the game that was in Toybox, and would answer “Verum Rex”. Riku described Sora’s appearance to some curious locals, and they thought they had seen him! Riku filled with a sense of emergency, needed to know where to find them. They pointed the guy out, but as Riku spotted him, he deflated. This cowboy did have Sora’s colors, but it wasn’t him. With a sad smile, he thanked the locals who helped him, and took off.

Since Kairi left, Riku started to hang around Roxas, Namine, Xion, Lea, and Isa more. In the evenings, after searching worlds, Riku would dread being alone with his thoughts. He would travel to Twilight Town and climb the clock tower. Most days he would find his friends up there, talking away talking about anything and everything. Riku enjoyed hearing them go on about things that aren’t very important. Namine helped him relax a bit, and he would join the conversation occasionally. She is the person he felt closest to in the group. Everyone else didn’t mind having him around. Even Roxas warmed up to him after a week.

“Riku, you need to take a break! You’ve been working so hard for so long. Everyone has their limits, and I don’t want you to hit yours.” Namine gave him a small scolding after he told her he was up all night in another world. He chuckled at her demands.

“Don’t worry, Namine. I’m taking care of myself.” She would get on him about this once in a while, and he appreciated the concern at least. “I just want to do my best to find Sora.” He had the thought that the more he worked the sooner he’ll find Sora. Riku hadn’t been taking the most care of himself, but he’s okay. He’s been through worse.

Riku doesn’t always sleep as much as he needs to. He hasn’t been home since Kairi went to sleep, so he would end up in different places every night. When he dreams, it’s always the same dream. He sees Sora, cold and lost. Being chilled to the bone, Sora calls out, but the wind drowns his voice. Riku starts to run towards him, determined to comfort and bring Sora home, but his legs can’t carry him any closer, and they become heavy. He tries to shout, to get Sora’s attention, but the wind doesn’t let up. Unable to do anything, Riku watches Sora drift away. _Why can’t I reach him?_ He tries and tries every night, but nothing changes. _Will I ever reach him?_ As he wakes up, he sometimes finds wet stains on his pillow.


	2. Turquoise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku found an island world, like his own. Will sora be here?  
> (this will be the most lighthearted part)

Today, Riku found another new world. He immediately goes down to investigate. As the clouds clear and he enters the atmosphere, all he can see is blue. Water stretches from horizon to horizon. _Is this another undersea world?_ As the thought bubbles up, he spots an island in the distance. While still far from the ground he checks for signs of humans or other people. The island is a lush green, with a large mountain in the middle. There is a coral reef surrounding the island and breaking the large waves, making the surrounding lagoon a sparkling calm cyan. This island reminds Riku of home, and the beach that him, Kairi, and Sora spent all their time. His heart starts to ache, and his mind wanders just a little. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, so he doesn’t get too lost in his own brain. As he comes back to reality, there’s a village made with materials gathered from the island in view.

He turns the Gummi ship into camouflage mode. The energy from this world caused it to morph into a sea canoe. The canoe has a hull with a compartment for storing food, water, and other items. A stabilizer is connected on the side to keep it from being overturned in the waves, and a big sail made from woven coconut husks. The sail had a paopu fruit painted in black on the front and in his hands a large oar was placed. It makes Riku think about when him and his friends tried to sail away off their island, but the thought quickly is wiped away.

His outfit had also changed, as to protect the world order. “I made a special spell on the Gummi ship for you, Riku. When you visit other worlds, you will need to blend in. So, when you turn on the camouflage, you’ll be camouflaged too, in a way. You’ll be able to get anything you need.” Donald wanted to help Riku but needed to stay by the King’s side. His spell turned Riku’s jeans and jacket into light colored fabric with a black and yellow stripe going around the end of it. It was made of a material that felt like canvas, and it was tied around his hips and waist, leaving his chest bare and being warmed in the sun. Leaves wrapped his ankles and black bands appeared on his upper arms. A necklace made of cowrie shells draped on his chest. His hair became longer and was tied back by a string. Lastly, a yellow zinnia flower was tucked behind his right ear.

With his transformation complete, he tried heading towards the island. He brought the ship down far from the island so the people wouldn’t see the flying ship and freak out, but now he’s regretting it. The waves are large and knocking him around without mercy. After all, he never actually made it far out to sea like planned, and only sailed between his home islands. Eventually, he crossed the reef. With the calm waters, the boat was much more secure. He sailed around to the village. The first person who saw him ran to go tell others, and when he made it to shore ten minutes later, there was a crowd waiting for him.

Everyone was staring at him, and a bead of nervous sweat ran down his back. A large man near the front approached him. “Who are you?” his tone didn’t seem angry, but stern. He had thick muscles on his chest, arms and legs. He wore a lei made of red and fluffy flowers. No one else seemed to have anything similar around their neck, so this must be the guy in charge.

“I’m Riku. I am traveling the sea looking for my friend.” He looked to everyone’s faces quickly scanning to make sure Sora wasn’t in the crowd.

“I’m sorry, but we have never had a visitor, as far as anyone here can say. You must leave.” The man was cold in his tone, but he seemed concerned about his people.

“I have come a long way, and my food is nearly out. Can I stay for a few nights to rest and restock?” He didn’t need supplies, but he wanted to make sure that this place was thoroughly scouted. Maybe he was wrong, or someone had a clue. Either way, he needed to stay.

“I can’t-“ he was cut off by a teenage girl pushing to the front.

“Of course, you can stay. Right, dad? We wouldn’t want our guest to run out of supplies, when we have SO much on our island.” She had long, curly hair, and wore a white skirt made from the same material his was. A red strapless top was accented by the same color as a band around her skirt on her waist. She emphasized her point by outstretching her hand and gesturing to the lush green jungle around the village.

The man looked at her with a frown, but his face softened. “Fine, he can stay for two nights. But he must leave and never come back.”

“That’s fine with me, sir. Thank you for your hospitality.” Riku smiled at him and bowed his head in respect.

“I call showing him around!” the girl rose her hand and hopped in excitement. She quickly ran to Riku’s side and hooked his arm in hers, making him blush lightly.

The man sighed, and then waved his hand. That made everyone around relax and start to disperse. The girl pulled Riku towards some of the huts in the village. “I’m Moana. This island is called Motunui.”

Moana was the daughter of the chief, and she eventually will be chief herself, so she is in training to manage the island and keep everyone safe and happy. “But… the ocean calls to me. I try and try to focus on doing my duties, but I find myself staring at the ocean and imagining sailing to far away islands, meeting new people, and having a new experience. I love my people, and my island, but my heart yearns.” She looked wistfully away, towards the glittering sea. The two were sitting on a log of a fallen palm tree, right at the tree line of the beach.

“I know how you feel. Me and my friends had plans years ago to sail away from our home islands, and to see new places. But, before we could try, something happened on our island and we had to focus on other things. One of my friends was… taken off the island when she didn’t want to, and my other friend went after her and took her place. So now I’m searching for him.” He didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t just start explaining hearts and Xehanort, so he kept it vague.

“Do you miss him?” softly she spoke after a moment of consideration.

“More than I thought was possible.” Riku thought about Sora’s smile, and looked down at the sand. He made a small smile in response to the imagined Sora. What he wouldn’t give to see that goofy smile again.

“Well, if you’ve made it this far, you have to keep going! If your heart says he’s out there, then he must be! And think of all the stories you can share when you finally find him! I’m sure everything will work out.” She wanted to cheer him up. It’s funny, her smile almost looked like Sora’s. For a moment, he really did feel better. He knows in his heart he’ll find his friend again. _Sora said he’d be back. I just need to believe in him._ Riku felt reenergized with the motivation to find him.

“Thank you, Moana. I know I’ll find him.” Riku looked at the sky. With the sun starting to set, everything was being light up a with a warm orange glow, and Riku’s heart was feeling warmer too.

The villagers insisted on throwing a feast that night to show off their skills and food. Moana told some of the younger islanders to perform a dance they had been practicing. Their bodies flowed like waves and swayed like the wind in the leaves of the trees. The drums beat in an enticing pattern, like the heartbeat of the island. These people love their home, and you can tell in everything they do. Riku went to the boat, and while pretending to be looking for something, he got the ship to conjure up a ukulele. He took the small string instrument to the gathering and began to play.

He hadn’t played in what seemed like forever. The soft tinkling of the chords danced through the air. Drummers started to join the rhythm, and Riku began to sing. It was a folksong of his home, hammered in his head since he was little. When all the kids were picking their instruments in school, he wanted guitar but was still too small for it, so ukulele it was. This song was among the first they learned together, and after time he figured out the more intricate pattern of the notes.

He felt warm. The villagers of Motunui were sharing their light and kindness. He hadn’t visited this bright of a world in a while, and it was refreshing. That night he dreamt of sitting in the warm sand with Sora and playing ukulele. The first good dream in a long time.

In the morning, a few guys of the village dragged Riku to help with fishing, and he was happy to help. Fishing was an easy task. He would go fishing with his mom and with Sora for their meals. When you live on the ocean, you use the resources you have. He noticed that none of the fishing boats went past the reef that surrounds the island. “Why don’t you go to deeper water? The fish are bigger there.” He asked. Surely, they would know this.

“Oh… the chief doesn’t let us. He says the island provides all we need and going past the reef would be too much of a risk.” The youngest one in the boat responded, but the rest of the crew just stayed silent. Riku didn’t ask for details. This must be why he had such a cold welcome from him.

The rest of the fishing goes well. The men told him to keep what he catches, and Riku thanked them for it, planning to put them in the community stockpile later. When he found Moana again, he wanted to talk more.

“Does your father not let you off the island?” Riku asked in a curious tone.

“Well, I’ve been in the lagoon a few times but, generally no. He doesn’t get my desire for the ocean and gets angry when I bring it up.” She was a little soft at first, but he could hear the frustration building. “The fish are starting to dwindle, and I want to help my people, but at the first mention of the ocean, he refuses to listen.”

“Aw man. I’m sure he’ll come around.” He tried to offer his sympathy, and hope it helped.

This evening’s dinner wasn’t as big of a show, since everyone used their energy the night before, but something special still was planned. Moana’s grandmother was going to tell a story. She had been teasing Riku about how skinny he was, and insisted he ate more. Grandparents are the same in every world it seems.

“Long ago, there was a beautiful island, rich in every way.” She used candles, and artfully made tapestries to present her story. “The land was prosperous and fertile. The fish never grew thin and there were never any storms. This island was made by the goddess Te Fiti. In the very center of the island, hidden in the mountains, laid her heart. This stone was her energy source and the island stayed beautiful because of it. As long as it was there, everything stayed perfect. One day, the demi-god, Maui, arrived on the island. He came to take the heart as a gift for the people he loved. When he plucked it from it’s resting spot, the island started to crumble, leaving dark dust in its place. A huge creature, Te Ka, appeared. She wanted to take the heart for herself. Te Ka was made of lava and was very powerful. She and Maui fought, and Maui’s weapon, his magic hook, was lost. The heart sank into the ocean in the confusion, and Maui lost, ending up being carried away by a current. The curse of the evil spreads from island to island, polluting the water and ruining crops. One day it may even end up here. But, if the heart of Te Fiti is restored, the beautiful island will return, and the evil will wash away. To restore it, you will need Maui. Just follow his hook in the stars.” After her story, Riku made sure to show his appreciation. She gave him a small chuckle, sat down, and told him “It’s why they keep me around still.”

Afterwards, Riku and Moana went down to the beach. The dark ocean swallowing up the horizon. If it weren’t for the reflection of the moon, it would feel like a giant void. Since Riku had to leave after tonight, he wanted to spend time near the ocean. He hadn’t been staying at home since Kairi went to sleep. It was too painful, and he didn’t feel like he belonged anymore. He’d sleep in the Gummi ship, bunk with Leon and the Radiant Garden gang, or stayed with Namine. It mostly just depended on where he was and how much energy he had. But, listening to the ocean filled a hole in his heart, even if only temporarily.

“Riku, why did you go looking for your friend? He said he would be back; don’t you trust him?” Moana asked, breaking the rhythm of the waves. This questioned pulled Riku out of his trance.

“I trust him with all my heart. But he tends to want to make everyone happy. He might be over his head and none of us will know unless we look for him. Everyone is doing what they can. And I wanted too as well.” The ache in his heart stung him for a moment. “Sometimes you must follow your heart, no matter the cost. Moana, I know you’ll be a great chief, and I know you’ll make it past the reef someday.” He gave her a sincere nod. Moana smiled and said thanks.

The night flew by, with Moana asking questions about Riku and his island. He told her about some people he met, and places he’s seen. Of course, keeping it as believable as he can for her world. They ended up talking for hours. “I have to go. I don’t think your father will like me around too much longer, and I don’t want your grandmother fighting him to feed me more.” Riku chuckled, and Moana did too.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to say goodbye?” she was protesting, when suddenly a man from the village rushed through the brush, out of breath.

“Moana! Your Grandmother!” she got up in an instant and started running. Riku followed but lagged behind, not knowing the underbrush as well as her. They raced forward, with an urgency unrivaled. When your loved one is in danger, there’s not time to waste.

When they made it back, her grandmother was in a hut, and Riku didn’t feel it was his place to be there. He went with his plan of packing up silently, and was only interrupted when after a little while, she came back, sobbing. “She’s gone…” through sobbing and hiccups Moana continued. “She told me this is the heart of Te Fiti, and I need to sail to reach Maui!” She showed Riku the necklace in her hand. In a little open locket, there was a green glowing stone.

Keeping himself composed, “Then go. You know what you need to do. Follow your heart, and it will work out.”

“Take me with you! Maybe Sora is waiting for you where Maui is!” she was hoping for his answer to be yes.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. I have a different path than you. I know you’ll be ok. Let your heart guide you.” He gave her a firm squeeze on the shoulder. She seemed to understand now and backed up an inch.

Riku gave her one last goodbye and set sail. The dark ocean quickly swallowing the village into the horizon. Once he couldn’t see anymore lights, he went into his hull, and turned the camouflage off. His island attire quickly shifted to his normal jacket, jeans, and shirt. The Gummi ship transformed from the canoe to the rocket powered ship he needed to leave. Before he left this world for good, he took one last look at the stars, and it seemed the worlds lined up perfectly to make a hook in the sky.


	3. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku's trip to Motunui helped him feel good, but only temporarily. Tonight he had a different dream, and takes a walk

_Sora, please! We need you!_ I _need you!_ Riku tried and tried to yell over the wind. The normal icy landscape of this dream was instead replaced by the beach they grew up on. It was late at night and a hurricane had made landfall. Sora was in the water, looking out to sea. Riku reached a hand up in a small attempt to reach his friend, as if only a few more inches could cut through the gale. The water started to rescind from the shoreline. There was no time! He had to get up. The wave grew closer and closer, and when Riku finally was able to move, Sora looked back. Before Riku saw his face, the wave crashed.

Riku jolted awake, startled by the sudden action. Well, at least it was a different dream this time. He looked out the window in his borrowed room. The sky was pitch black and the streetlamps were all dark. The only light came from a crescent moon that hung low in the sky, and the faint stars twinkling between the clouds. Riku was grateful for Merlin setting up a spare room for him to sleep in. Sleeping in the pilot seat in the Gummi ship was too hard, no matter how far it could lean back. Leon insisted that he take a few days off, and relax, but that was impossible. His anxiety about finding his friend wouldn’t let him sit still for too long. If it wasn’t to directly search for Sora, then it was to keep his mind busy.

It seems the warmth from Motunui was only temporary and had already worn off. When he came back, Riku had a bit more life in him. Humming a couple times absentmindedly, laughing at jokes, and participating in the Radiant Garden gang’s conversations. After searching two more worlds, the warmth leeched out and Riku was returned to the less hopeful state he was in previously.

Aerith made Riku promise to have breakfast with them after he spends the nights. Sometimes she can be stubborn to a scary degree. Since it was still dark, breakfast would be a long wait, and there was no way he could search a world and come back in time. As he saw it, the only option was to take a walk.

He threw his jacket on and laced up his boots. Making his way through the house without making a sound, he creeped out the front door. The cool night air felt good on his skin. The stress of the dream had risen his body temperature and made him a little sweaty. He walked down the street, following the usually busy roads into the restored central garden. The only company he had was the faint screeches of bats flying by far overhead. The silhouette of the giant castle loomed over the town like an oncoming thunderstorm. It took up most of the horizon.

Seeing it made Riku tempted to go visit Kairi. Of course, she was asleep and wouldn’t know he was there, but talking to her seemed comforting to him. Riku made his way up to the gate. By no surprise, it was locked at night, but he easily jumped up, and climbed over. Knowing the doors are most likely locked, he decided not to use his Keyblade to unlock them and knock instead. The guards get pretty serious about break-ins, especially Aeleus. After some time and no one answered, he tried again. This time Dilan answered.

“What are you doing here so late? Go home, Riku.” Dilan was extra irritated. There’s supposed to be a guard on duty at all times, but I guess he dozed off for a little bit.

“I need to get down to the lab.” Riku was not in the mood to talk to someone that he wasn’t planning on seeing. After a moment of deciding that it wasn’t worth the trouble, Dilan let him through with a sigh. Riku nodded in thanks and proceeded to snake through the halls. Most rooms were dark, and only half of the lights were on, creating an atmosphere to easily mistake shadows for moving. In the dark and eerie hallways, it would be easy to get lost if you didn’t know the way. Once down to Ansem’s study, Riku lit a small candle. The painting that hung on the wall was once a Young Xehanort, sometime after possessing Terra and thwarting Ansem to conduct terrible experiments. The new painting depicted Ansem, with his colleagues Ienzo and Even. Riku lifted the painting and entered the code to reveal the path to where Kairi lies. Passing the town security controls, he climbed down to the new lab.

Once he spotted Kairi, he couldn’t help himself but run. Riku raced to be at her side. She lay there peacefully asleep, with a few sensors taped to her head. He knelt down next to her bed and took her hand. It was soft and warm, and felt just like when he last held it at the beach. The feeling of familiarity made his heart ache so much, he started to lose control of his composure, and began to weep.

He had been so alone. He had Namine, Leon, and the others, but he wasn’t good at maintaining friends. When he was around Sora and Kairi, it was as easy as breathing. There was nothing to work on, and wherever the three of them were, that was home. It’s been four months since Sora was gone, and two months since Kairi fell asleep. At least when Sora was regaining his memories over that year that seemed so long ago, Riku knew he was okay, and that Kairi was safe at home on their island. Now? He has nothing. Kairi is okay, but who knows about Sora.

 _How much longer?_ If there was an answer, it would make the pain easier. He would know there is an end, and he would be able to hold on to the hope he had for the future. But now, his hope is slipping more and more each day. It’s hard to convince yourself that things will be okay, when so far there hasn’t been any evidence of it.

After a long moment, the sobs coming from Riku began to weaken and slow down. Never loosing his grasp on Kairi’s hand, he leaned back against the side of her bed. Riku let out a big sigh and looked towards the ceiling. The faint sweet smell that belonged to Kairi comforted him, and slowly, he began to doze off. The exhaustion of releasing so many strong emotions griped him just enough for him to drift into a light sleep.

What only seemed like a few minutes late, Riku’s gummiphone began to ring, waking him up. He briefly was confused on where he was, but the presence of Kairi’s hand still entwined in his clued him in. He looked to see who it was, sighed, and answered.

“What did I say about having breakfast with us! You made me a promise. You need to take care of yourself more, and breakfast is the most important-“ Riku accidentally spent way too long in the lab and it was now morning. Understandably, Aerith had thought he took off to another world and skipped out on breakfast.

“Hey Aerith… Don’t worry I’m still in Radiant Garden. I accidentally fell asleep somewhere. I’ll be over in a little bit.” His voice cracked a little from being worn out the night before.

“…Are you okay, Riku?” anyone would worry after hearing that.

“Yeah, I’m fine. See you soon.” After she said goodbye, he hung up. Riku looked at Kairi’s hand, still in his, and touched it to his forehead. He held the moment for just a bit too long, but soon stood up. Gently, he placed her arm back where it was and gave her one last glance. He silently promised to come back soon and left the lab.

Awkwardly he scooted past the morning staff of the castle, who all have not had coffee yet. None conscious enough to give him a second glance. Now as he exited, the front doors were wide open with the guards standing on either side. Dilan was still around, and Riku gave him a quick nod before exiting completely and making his way back to the magical house he stays in.

Aerith was prepared to give Riku a scolding, but after seeing his red puffy eyes, she figured he had a hard night. The breakfast was filling and was expertly made, but Riku wasn’t able to focus on enjoying the food. His release of emotions the night before left him feeling numb and tired. He didn’t have the energy to search that day, so for the first time since Kairi fell asleep, he took a day off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made myself cry a little writing this lol


End file.
